Fear.

What is your biggest fear?  Odds are, you don’t have to wait too long to feel that deep-rooted anxiety welling up from just that question.  I am staring at the vessel that holds my biggest fears at this very moment, as I watch my children joyfully playing in a hotel pool.

If you have ever carried a baby inside of you, you know that the way your baby is formed is nothing short of miraculous.  It is very obvious that God is the center of creating such a tiny bundle of joy.  They start as a microscopic organism and end up an 8 pound copy of you, all from the combining of two.  The very second I held my babies in my arms, I knew I would move mountains for them, without them ever asking.  I had the deep yearning to never let them leave my side and I just wanted them and their families to live with me forever! (Ok, that one has changed.  Remember, my state of mind: I was doped up on medication from delivery and I was giddy the pain was over – don’t judge).  Over the years, I have stayed up many long nights with a crying colicky baby, kissed countless boo boos, held them tight when a friend has broken their heart, and soon, will teach them both to shave.  It goes fast, momma, so don’t blink.  Soon I will be sending them off to start their lives as adults – all too soon…

But until then, that fear lies in our wicked world.  With all the coverage on kidnapped children and sex-trafficking, my fear soars for their safety.  I watch them and keep them close, yet that fear asks if I watch them close enough?  Am I doing enough to keep them safe?  Fear swarms my heart.

Dictionary.com defines fear as a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined. The key words there are whether the threat is real or imagined.  I have always heard fear defined as False Evidence Appearing Real, and boy that hits the nail on the head of my encompassing fear.

Fear comes in many forms, doesn’t it? A lost job leads to fear of not having enough food to feed our hungry families. An impending divorce leads to fear of loneliness and possibly, insecurity.  A health issue leads to fear of what this illness could debilitate in the future. Do you notice something about these fears? They are expressing fears that are actually unknown to us. When we live in fear of our potential circumstances, we find ourselves caught up in them.  When we focus on those unknown, potentially horrible life altercations, we are missing the only fear we should be facing – the fear of life without our Father.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”  1 Peter 5:7

Make no mistake – God doesn’t promise us that life will be carefree or painless.  He doesn’t even promise that the fear that lurks so deep won’t come to pass.  Yet, He does offer a peace amidst our deepest needs. You see, no matter what diagnosis I may receive, no matter what my paycheck is lacking, and no matter what struggles tomorrow may bring, my peace is found in my Father’s arms, and in those arms alone.

“I sought the LORD, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.”  Psalm 34:4

My sweet Jesus, these fears in our ugly world are so loud – echoing over my heart’s very beat.  It’s so hard for me to hand them over to You and to keep them there in your hands.  But I know, Lord, that those hands are the ones who formed my very being and I pray I can allow myself to rest in your peace-filled grasp.  Let my faith and trust in who YOU ARE be stronger than the lies embedded in my fear.  Let the only fear my heart faces, be the fear of a day without You by my side.  My fears, whether real or imagined, I will leave in your hands and there they will stay, with Your help and Your strength to guide me.  Thank you, Jesus, for being patient in my struggle and for always showing me the way to peace, through Your infinite grace and through your overwhelming mercy.  I come before you in your precious, holy name, Jesus.  Amen.

– Jodi